The Simpsons quotes--funny?

I just stumbled across a few funny quotes and thought I'd post them. Star if you like them :)

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" ~Homer Simpson

"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" ~Homer Simpson

"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?" ~Homer Simpson

"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight." ~Homer Simpson

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'" ~Homer Simpson

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night." ~Homer Simpson

"What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?" ~Homer Simpson

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

Im goin with the 1st lady said...MAKE ME WANT TO WATCH THE SIMPSONS!!! Seriously ive ben watching them since for ever i love them...I learned soo much like "Why fix my bed if im going to sleep on it again??" ...im 21 years old now and i still do that...lool. thanks for sharing!

They're great. Oh darn, reading that has made me want to watch simpsons now!

"I have misplaced my pants" ~Homer Simpson

lol !
they actually are funny !

very good and very very funny,I love the quotes and the simpsons,always watch it when my 12yo is staying with me,thanx !

it think there hilarious like bart simpson:eat my shorts

Homer is funny. I like the one where Homer is a bodyguard for the mayor.

"The pig is in the poke"

:-)

love it!

Mwahahah! Yes, indeed they are. They've gone off a bit of late though.