What is the funniest joke youve ever heard or told?

I heard a joke, but it's 'dirty'. Google voodoo d*** joke.

What is the diffrence between a lexus and 7 dead hookers??




I do not have a lexus in my garage

Here's one-not necesarily the funniest:

There was once a little girl called Rose. She asked her mother one day why she named her Rose. Her mom said, "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."

There was once another little girl called Tulip. She asked her mother one day why she named her Tulip. Her mom said, "Because when you were a baby, a tulip petal fell on your head."

One day, a little girl said: "Nwahomawuahf." And her mother said, "Shut up, Fridge.

not my best...but cute!


What did the blonde customer say after reading the breasty waitress' name tag?

Sandy...that's cute! What did you name the other one?

Two dumb blondes walked into a bar.
The smart brunette ducked.

too many that I can't remember

NOTE: I do not hate blondes

a blonde goes to a pizza parlor.
the dude goes:would you like me to cut it in 6 pieces or 12 pieces?
the blonde goes:6 please.I can never finish all twelve.

lol

Hey Lady!!!

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store.
The parrot says to her, 鈥淗ey lady, you are really ugly.鈥?Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, 鈥淗ey lady, you are really ugly.鈥?Well, she was incredibly ticked now.
The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, 鈥淗ey lady, you are really ugly.鈥?
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager said, 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not good.鈥?and promised he wouldn鈥檛 say it again.
When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, 鈥淗ey lady.鈥?
She paused and said, 鈥淵es?鈥?and the bird said, 鈥淵ou know.鈥?/div>

• 1 week ago