Have you any 'chinese proverbs' or 'Confucius say...' jokes?

I'll show you what I mean...

Confucius say :-

1) Man with c0ck up chimney, phucking grate but man with c0ck in biscuit tin, phucking crackers.
2) Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day, but man with two hole in pocket, not feel too cocky.

Man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake with smelly finger.

-Confucious say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!
-Confucious say, man who stand on toilet high on pot!
-Confuctious say, man who fart in church, get own pew!

'Confucius says -

man who walk through airport door side ways is going to Bangkok !!!

Confucius say, "Man who goes through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."

Confucious say, "Better to blow a fart and be ashamed than bust a gut and be in pain."

confucius say dont buy cigarettes in chinese takaway, i ask for 20 number six and get half ton of rice

Confucius say man who phucks virgin gets blood on his pud and man who gets BJ from woman wearing too much makeup gets lipstick on his dipstick.

confucius say man sat on pin better off.

Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired.

Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted.

Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke.

Confucius say, "Woman who fly upside down have hairy crack up."

Confucius say, "Sexual malfeasance not possible. Woman run faster with dress up than man with pants down."

Add legs to the snake after you have finished drawing it.
After three days without reading, talk becomes flavorless.
An ant may well destroy a whole dam.
Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one.
Better do a good deed near at home than go far away to burn incense.
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.
A book holds a house of gold.
Butcher the donkey after it finished his job on the mill.
A camel standing amidst a flock of sheep.
Clear conscience never fears midnight knocking.
A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood
A crane standing amidst a flock of chickens.
Crows everywhere are equally black.
A dish of carrot hastily cooked may still has soil uncleaned off the vegetable.
Dismantle the bridge shortly after crossing it.
Distant water won't help to put out a fire close at hand.
Distant water won't quench your immediate thirst.
Do not employ handsome servants.
Do not want others to know what you have done? Better not have done it anyways.
Donkey's lips do not fit onto a horse's mouth.
A dog won't forsake his master because of his poverty; a son never deserts his mother for her homely appearance.
Dream different dreams while on the same bed.

Passionate kiss like spider's web often leads to fly's undoing!

Woman who sit on jockey's knee get red hot tip.
Woman who sit on brother in law's knee make it hard for sister.

Confucius say, too meet girl in park good.
But too park meat in girl is better.

confucious say. man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man who run infront of car becomes tired, man who runs behind car becomes exhausted

Man who cooks carrots & peas in same pot not very sanitary

Ostrich who put head in sand get burnt in end

when all around you are losing their heads keep your hands on your chopper.