crosstops.com
*Home>>>Jokes & Riddles

Is this funny? (a bit long)...?


TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just lay there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't ***
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book

Omg. That is hilarious. Well. I preferred the womans' letter cuz it said the funnier stuff.

good one

Wow. It is VERY funny! I'm speechless.

that was so funny im peeing my pants lol

~*STAR*~
HaHaHaHaHa!!!!!

The epitome of stupidity!

LOL!! Haven't heard this one in a while. Here's a star.

NICE

woow lol

Catchy and Funny

nice........very original....star

Yes - it's about time this babay had another airing - star 2 U

Tags
Movies Magazines Jokes & Riddles Horoscopes Comics & Animation
Related information
  • Who is Santa's 10th reindeer?

    I put all the reindeers names in caps. I found ten. The song... You know DASHER and DANCER and PRANCER and VIXON. COMET and CUPID and DONNER and BLITZON. But do you know the most famous rein...

  • Why is a man like a snowman?Because you never know when he's coming,how many inches you'll get or how long

    You had me laughing out loud!!! :) Thanks for the laughs!!! :)

    ...
  • An elderly man and woman each 150 years old, got married?

    Small giggle,,,

    ...
  • Christmas Riddle I can't figure out...?

    uhh a nutcracker I mean sometimes little kids are imature about the whole nuts thing and people really do only by them to look nice and alot of people never actually use them

    ...
  • Did you hear the one about the Muslim and the Austalian? no offence intended.?

    Ha ha ha.!!! Now that is excellent joke.!!! 10/10.!!! Got us guys on the night shift laughing.!!! Typical Aussie, lol.!! Cheers.!!

    ...
  • Two old ladies were chatting one day.?

    HA HA HA.!!! That is an Excellent joke Gary.!!! 10/10.!!! Got us guys on night shift laughing.!!! Cheers man.!!!

    ...
  • How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsiroll pop?

    According to the official Tootsie Roll website, Tootsie Roll Industries has received over 50,000 letters from children claiming to have solved the riddle since the commercial first aired in 1970. T...

  • What's a sheep's favourite Christmas carol?

    We wish Ewe a Merry Christmas?

    ...
  •  

    Entertainment & Music Categories--Copyright/IP Policy--Contact Webmaster