Does anyone have any really funny dirty jokes?

I love dirty jokes, but I can't find any good ones.
If you've got a funny one, please share ittt.
xo_<3
=]

why does Santa hav no children?
coz he only cums once a year n thats down a chimney

hi
Little Girl: Daddy, I met a bad man today.
Daddy: What did he do that made him a bad man?
Little Girl: Well, first he grabbed my breasts.
Daddy: Like this?
LG: Oh, yes, Daddy, like that.
D: Well, that doesn't make someone a bad man.
LG: Yes, but then he took off all my clothes.
D: Like this?
LG: Yes, Daddy, like that.
D: That still doesn't make someone a bad man.
LG: Oh, but then he put his stick thingy in my hole thingy.
D: Like this?
LG: OOOOH, yes, Daddy! Just like that!
D: Well, that still doesn't make someone a bad man.
LG: But then he told me that he had AIDS.
D: That bad man!


How bout that??

Wats d diff between pulling a curtain and a panty?
Ans: when u pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means ..
"ITS SHOWTIME!!!!"

Three nuns died and went to heaven. Before they could pass through the pearly gates, however, St. Peter told them they had to answer a question. So the first nun walks up, St. Peter asks, "Who was the first man on earth?". "Oh," says the nun. "That's easy. It was Adam." "That is correct," says St. Peter, "You may go in."
The second nun walks up, it's her turn to answer a question. "Who was the first woman on earth?" St. Peter asks. She smiles. "Thats an easy one," she says. "It was Eve." "That is correct. You may go in."
The third nun goes up to answer her question.
St. Peter asks, "What is the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
"Oh," the third nun said, "that's a hard one..."

What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend?

See you in twenty-eight days!


What's more romantic than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.