If Tommy Cooper was alive today?

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, "That's Aboriginal."

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."

I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I went to the local video shop and I said "Can I borrow Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"

Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best Before End'

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue" I said "no just a watch"

Tommy Cooper
Morcombe and Wise
Mike and Bernie Winters

Steptoe and Son
Rising Damp
Sunday Night at the London Paladium

I miss them all.

Very good , i was watching Tommy on stage when he died,he would appreciate all of those.Keep the jokes coming Just like that !

Congrats. You certainly did it, "just like that"
Keep them coming!

He was a comic classic,,,good one liners ha ha ,,,

lol....excellent