Facts about Chuck Norris...?

Drum role please:

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ******* beef.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris鈥?beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn鈥檛 lifting himself up, he鈥檚 pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris鈥?hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn鈥檛 wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

hahahahaha

lmfao

is there a question to this? lol

Chuck Norris is awesome =].



When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. lmao.

Chuck is the man. And looks amazing for 67 years old. He looks 40 on tv.

Good one. I don't understand how this is a question, but funny and cool facts. :D

awesome!

these should get old, but they make me laugh EVERY time!

thanx for the point

some people swim in the water....chuck norris swims through land

Behind Chuck Norris' beard there is no chin, just another fist.

Guns don't kill people Chuck Norris kills people.

If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you, if you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

lol

lol hahaha but u forgot one thing: making fun of chuck norris is an easy sucicide. lol :)

When kids go to sleep they check the closet for the boggie man.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.

Wow, sad. The only reason Chuck Norris is compared to a God is because he is American. He is definitely not that good and all those jokes are a bunch of ****. There are many martial artists who can beat him up any day with their eyes closed and hands tied behind their back. I.E. Tony Jaa.

was this supposed to be funny?
sorry,lol

Chuck Norris doesn't have a reflection anymore. He got tired of arguing with it.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.