What do you think?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! THanks =DDDDDDDDDDD?

What do u think of this story:
The object was flying back and forth like a ping pong game in slow motion.It was a cool evening around 6"What is that?" I asked.My sister looked up from the t.v to where i was staring out the window."Where?" "Outside.Come here, I'll show u."I repiled.My sister got up from the floor and looked out the window w/me. "I don't see anything."She said."No, over there Aurora,By the woods,U see that?It looks like an airplane cicling the woods." I said"Oh yeah,I see it now,is it that blue and red flashy thing?" "Yeah but it looks like a v Shaped object."I said "yeah Vitoria, and zebras r purple w/ pink and orange polka dots, I know Ur letting that Criss Angel dude get in 2 ur head. It-" "Oh my God."I said."what?"
Oh my god,Duck aurora Duck!its coming straight 2 our house!"I started 2 painc.I was crying and i ducked down,but then got up and looked out into the horizon. W/out warning the lights died down I saw my life flashing b4 my eyes I whispered "Its here."

SO yeah there's more details to it but i couldnt fit all of it thats why I had to use slang . SO yeah this is basicaly how the diaoluge ends. Do you think it is supenseful????!

THAT WAS MY STORY!!!!! I WROTE THE EXCACT SAME THING IN SIXTH GRADE! i checked

Thank so much GiggleGirly! I didn't think it was that good, just something I had to write for english, but I'm going to use this dialouge for my short story that counts as an Exam. THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... =DDDD Report It

I like it. I want to know what happens next.

Um....well I know that wasn't good...no offense....I mean how could you ever call that good??? It's not even close to good because its THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ!!! If anyone dares to tell you that's not the best....slap them. lol..jk. Well I luv it! Put me on the edge of my chair! I want to know that happens sooooo bad! Well I kno one thing for a fact...we have our selves another J.K. Rowling!! Star 4 u!!!




Happy Holidays!!!^_^
Luv,
Gigglygirly^_^

nice

Very, very good! Now how about the end? Merry Christmas!

Maybe it was Santa Clause!