What is the best of the best santa joke?

which joke have your heard is the best santa one ever

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde.
She asks "Santa, will you stay with me?"
Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!"
She takes off her nightgown, and wearing only a bra and panties, she asks
"Santa, now will you stay with me?"
Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!"
She takes off everything and asks "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
Santa replies "Hey Hey I gotta stay, gotta stay! I can't get up the chimney with ******* this way!"



IT was the night before Christmas,
When all through the house,

Everybody felt shitty even the mouse.
With Mom at the whore house,

And dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of @ss!

When out on the lawn I hear such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter!

When out on the lawn I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the ****** had fell!

He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
The son of a bi*ch blew the chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a Hell of a night!

Once a group of people were collecting donation to build a large water tank for their locality (Since that locality had water problem). They visited everybodies home and were collecting donations.

On their way they visited Santa and explained the cause and demanded the donation.

Santa thought for some time. Then he went inside and came out with a bucket full of water.

Surprized men asked, "what is this?".

Santa replied, "My donation for ur water tank".

From

Q: Do you know why Santa dosen't have any children ? A: he only comes once a year and thats down a chimney ...

"I don't care what your name is! Get those f*ckin reindeer off my roof!"

What's got 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a Rudolph

What do u get if u leave the fire place on when Santa has his fly undone.

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"

how much time do u spend on Q@A here- minutes hours days- in USSR WHEN asked a question they say RU THE RED NOSE THERE