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Please Rate And Edit A Small Portion Of My Song (8 Lines)!?


I am a 15 year old Boy just so you know and Please Go As Harsh As You Can Go, Edit and rate out of 10 please My 2nd Song Ever:

Song (About A Crush):

Needed some time to chill so I went to the mall
Seeing you there, dont know your name
Picturing you with me everywhere
Want to make a good first impression
So Trying to get yo attention all the time
Just look at me once so I can get the relaxin

Stumbled out the door, it's fine,
My skateboard broke my fall.
I needed to relax my brain
So I headed for the mall.

I saw you there, didn't know your name
Now you're living in my mind
I need to get your attention, make an impression
Hit you with my best line.

I can picture us together,
You and me just hangin out
I'm the answer to your question
You're what this song's about.

Tags
Other - Music Singing Rock and Pop Rap and Hip-Hop R&B & Soul Lyrics Jazz Country Classical Blues
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